Creating Kris ~ a young mom blogs…

Lost the new job

So last week I made a “pros” and “cons” list of whether or not to stay @ the CBS job.

And looking at it, I’d decided it was worth it to stay and give it a shot.

It turns out it didn’t matter anyways – I was let go this morning.

I’d come in this morning and finished all of the day’s work by 8:20. So I worked for about an hour and checked off yet another box on my big list of “Extra Projects”, which is more than half complete. I’d literally just sent a note to my bosses on Friday letting them know if they wanted to keep me from being bored, could they please think of some more extra projects for me to start in Feb/March which is when I estimated I’d run out of all the  work I’d been told I could get to in my spare time.

So I’m starting a different extra project, when my boss calls me for a meeting. And then started heading for the hallway instead of her office. Not a good sign. Walk into a little room (same one I was interviewed in) and my HR rep is sitting there. Really not a good sign. And sure enough, that was it. Letter confirming I was being let go, no I couldn’t go back to my desk to claim my things, my boss would pack up a box for me. Escorted to my car, handed in my pass, etc.

At least at Ceridian I’d had some time to say my goodbyes.

I had just passed the 3-month mark on Friday. But probation there was actually 4 months. So they didn’t have to give a reason for why they weren’t keeping me, they just gave the usual “wasn’t a good fit” spiel.

All of this leaves me terrified I’ll never find a place where I’ll fit in.

It reminds me of the whole gifted-kids-who-drop-out-of-school-because-they-get-too-bored problem. Is there an adult version? If so, this must be it. Gifted adults who can’t settle into any workplace. Who take on too much work and burn out. Or who take on too little work and get bored.

I also suspect part of the problem was that I have a very busy online life. They weren’t happy with the fact that I was going online, even though I was getting all of my work done!! and even though I was not spending huge amounts of time online. And yet I was hired because of my web expertise so I could help them with their website, so how is that fair?!?

It’s just not fair, that’s the problem. I’m a hard worker, I’m a good worker, I’m a fast worker. I need some extra support because of my health but I more than make up for that. I’m gifted so I need work tasks that will interest me and challenge me. If I’m bored, yes I will turn to getting things accomplished in my personal life.

So how can I find a place that will take me, this complete package? I thought maybe this was it but I guess I was wrong.

Mommy had a bad day too…

So today Avery was having a tantrum as Paul wrestled him into his carseat at the end of the day @ daycare. And he told me he’d had a bad day.

So a little while later, when I was curled up in my fave chair here in the family room, crying, and he asked me what was wrong, I just said “Mommy had a bad day too”.

So I can forget about blogging from work. Had a meeting today with my (main) boss and she came right out and told me to limit my internet use and that it was “discouraged” and that if I was ever bored I could just tell her and she’d find me some work to do.

It’s not that I had been hoping for hours upon hours of free time. But I was thinking it would be nice if I had a bit of time each morning to drink my coffee and settle in by checking my daily pages. And maybe hang out a bit on my YM boards if at the end of the day my work was done.

Ever since the Firefox issue (before Christmas, my 2nd boss found out I’d installed it and freaked out on me for breaking policy), it’s been pretty stressful. I feel like they are watching me extra closely. And they probably are. Meanwhile, with the winter weather, I’ve been late a bunch of times too!! which does not look good.

Still 1 month of probation to go (which is strange because usually it’s 3 months, which would be in a couple days for me!!). Still trying to decide for sure for sure I want to stay there. And they might be thinking about whether or not they want to keep me!

Sometimes I feel like I would be stupid to give up this job just because I won’t have any time to get bored and surf the web. But sometimes I think, well, the whole point of getting an easy job where I could get the work done no problem and have some “space” to my day was to make sure I didn’t burnout again!!!

Paul and I have discussed how the “gifted” thing factors into these type of issues. And really I feel in a way it’s like being punished for working more quickly than the average person – you just end up doing more work!! This was what I ended up doing @ Ceridian and I’m sure was part of the reason I crashed so hard. Instead shouldn’t you feel rewarded for working so efficiently by having some nice “I’m all caught up” time?

Anyways, lots to think about.

So also I didn’t end up going to the gym tonight like I’d thought I might. The bad day combined with having been out pretty late last night scrapbooking kind of influenced that decision. After tucking Avery in, I went for a nap myself. (and he got into stuff in the bathroom, whoops).

Feeling just all-around awful with everything combined.

My new ringtone ~ Wonderpets

So Paul got me a new cell phone for Christmas.

It’s cute, I like it so far. It’s a slide phone, kinda funky.

So tonight, he put the “Wonderpets” song on it!!

I couldn’t find the whole song in a video, but here is at least the start of it:

Wonderpets

As you can imagine, it makes for a really hysterical ring tone. Now I can’t wait to get calls!

Thanks hon!!!!!