Lost the new job
So last week I made a “pros” and “cons” list of whether or not to stay @ the CBS job.
And looking at it, I’d decided it was worth it to stay and give it a shot.
It turns out it didn’t matter anyways – I was let go this morning.
I’d come in this morning and finished all of the day’s work by 8:20. So I worked for about an hour and checked off yet another box on my big list of “Extra Projects”, which is more than half complete. I’d literally just sent a note to my bosses on Friday letting them know if they wanted to keep me from being bored, could they please think of some more extra projects for me to start in Feb/March which is when I estimated I’d run out of all the work I’d been told I could get to in my spare time.
So I’m starting a different extra project, when my boss calls me for a meeting. And then started heading for the hallway instead of her office. Not a good sign. Walk into a little room (same one I was interviewed in) and my HR rep is sitting there. Really not a good sign. And sure enough, that was it. Letter confirming I was being let go, no I couldn’t go back to my desk to claim my things, my boss would pack up a box for me. Escorted to my car, handed in my pass, etc.
At least at Ceridian I’d had some time to say my goodbyes.
I had just passed the 3-month mark on Friday. But probation there was actually 4 months. So they didn’t have to give a reason for why they weren’t keeping me, they just gave the usual “wasn’t a good fit” spiel.
All of this leaves me terrified I’ll never find a place where I’ll fit in.
It reminds me of the whole gifted-kids-who-drop-out-of-school-because-they-get-too-bored problem. Is there an adult version? If so, this must be it. Gifted adults who can’t settle into any workplace. Who take on too much work and burn out. Or who take on too little work and get bored.
I also suspect part of the problem was that I have a very busy online life. They weren’t happy with the fact that I was going online, even though I was getting all of my work done!! and even though I was not spending huge amounts of time online. And yet I was hired because of my web expertise so I could help them with their website, so how is that fair?!?
It’s just not fair, that’s the problem. I’m a hard worker, I’m a good worker, I’m a fast worker. I need some extra support because of my health but I more than make up for that. I’m gifted so I need work tasks that will interest me and challenge me. If I’m bored, yes I will turn to getting things accomplished in my personal life.
So how can I find a place that will take me, this complete package? I thought maybe this was it but I guess I was wrong. 
January 14 2008 01:17 pm | work/career
January 14th, 2008 at 3:00 pm
I’m so sorry. I know that you weren’t liking the job that much lately, but it sucks to be let go even so. Don’t worry that it’s you and not them — if you’re the one finishing your work ahead of time, asking for more work, etc., it’s obviously their problem. Grrr at them.
Gifted adults who can’t settle into any workplace. Who take on too much work and burn out. Or who take on too little work and get bored.
Yep, it’s true. I think the whole issue is finding somewhere that you fit in. Somewhere with challenging work, but not so challenging that you burn out. It’s so very rare that you find something like that on the first try (or second, or fifth, or tenth). That’s especially true if you don’t have the financial reserves to not work and hold back for a more ideal job, or to work on (less-financially-reliable) contracts or for yourself. When you need a steady paycheck, your options are sadly limited.
Not really encouraging, I guess, but what can I say, I’m right there with you on this one. I so understand your frustration.
P.S. If you’re up for stepping back into the ring soon, talk to. I think her workplace is hiring soon (but then again they’ve been saying that for over a year).
January 14th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
Yeah, they’re supposed to be hiring, but I’m just not sure it’s something Kris will like. First off, it’s only a three-month contract, and secondly, it’s going to be boring, repetitive, menial work but it always has to be done OMGRIGHTNOWYESTERDAY!!! Blech.
January 14th, 2008 at 7:25 pm
Thanks chickie, I appreciate the support, and it’s so true about it being rare to find the right place, I just hope I stumble upon something soon!
I keep kicking myself thinking “if only I’d been perfect during my probation”, but there’s just something that feels dishonest to me about pretending to be perfect during probation to only show your “true colours” as soon as it’s over, ya know? Ideally you would think people would appreciate honesty and transparency.
January 14th, 2008 at 7:25 pm
oooh yikes, definitely not my thing!!
January 14th, 2008 at 8:25 pm
Oh, Kris…I’m sorry.
You know what, this wasn’t your fault. Not at all. You were told from the outset that it was all right to spend some time online, as long as the work got done. You’re an intelligent person who was very capable at the job, and you took on extra stuff too, above and beyond, and tried to balance.
It may seem like a setback, but this is the universe’s way of making the decision for you…time to find a better fit. When you initially posted about the “Big Brother” monitoring your internet time, and actually standing there to make sure you were removing Firefox…it was very apparent that the bloom was off the rose.
My aunt was let go from a very high up position at a hospital…she was totally crushed and insulted…they had security escort her to her office to get a few things, and then escort her to her car and made sure she drove away, and arranged a time for her to come in “off hours” for the rest of her things. It was ridiculous. Now she’s doing contracts, and she’s enjoying the variety and flexibility to try different things, and be with people who appreciate her expertise.
January 14th, 2008 at 9:04 pm
Thanks chickie!! And yes, that is a great way of thinking of it – the universe’s way of making the decision for me, I really hope that is the case and something better is just around the bend!!
Yes, I think the “off-hours” thing was offered, not sure if they would let me go escorted to my desk or just meet them in the lobby with stuff, I’ve discovered a few more things I am missing.
Very embarassing for sure! Glad to hear your aunt has moved on from that experience successfully!