Creating Kris ~ a young mom blogs…

the final word

so I get handed the phone, it’s the police

“Thanks for calling me back…” I start.
“No, it’s about Melissa Hilchey.”

because get this – not only did she e-mail me to harass me one last time to get the final word, she called the police on me yet again. so they called me. I hadn’t even yet started my file or told my side of the story, they were calling about her file, filled with her accusations and partial-truths.

my phobia of cops was yet again re-inforced… he was tough, rude, disrespectful, wouldn’t even add my side of the story to the file – “it doesn’t matter”. didn’t even care that I’ve *never* e-mailed her unless she e-mailed me first. Apparently you can still call the police on your victim even if you are the one antagonizing.

She reminds me of a toddler… gives you a whack on the back of your head and then when you spin around to face them, falls down and cries… “She hit meeeeee!” By the time your parent arrives on the scene, you’re both in time out.

silver lining on this ugly gray cloud is that now that she’s made this charge, she’s not allowed to come after me anymore. and she’s not allowed to contact me through anyone else, so she can’t send her bodyguard Krissie after me either.

Maybe now I can finally have some peace and quiet.

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to all the moms out there with PPD and/or OCD:

be strong! don’t let people harass you and discriminate against you! stand up and take action the first time someone does, don’t let it wait.

one thing I regret is not calling the police when this vindictive person first started harassing me. She e-mailed me to tell me about the CAS call and then started e-mailing me and e-mailing me to remove her from my LiveJournal, which I hadn’t gotten around to yet since getting out of the hospital. I’d asked her not to contact me but she kept at it. I wish I’d been the one to open the file so it could’ve been on my terms and with *my* side of the story included.

Another lesson learned and a tip for mothers who are going to be seeking help for their PPD or OCD: I know it may seem strange but it might actually be better for *you* to call your local child services agency yourself before anyone else does!!! Then you can explain “I have post-partum depression. I’m suicidal. I would never ever hurt my child and I’m doing every possible thing I can to help myself and to keep them safe”. One of my PPD-support-group friends had CAS called on her because she confessed her PPD suicidal ideations to a nurse at a well-baby clinic and it was just a nightmare for her just like it’s been for me. I wish I had thought of this idea to call and start a file at the start of my journey of seeking help.

Most importantly, don’t let your fear of harassment and discrimination stop you from getting the help you need!!! Even though there are people out there who will mask their ignorance with hate and fear and who will act out against you, I think it’s still worth it to get out there and tell people what’s happening to you and that you need treatment for it!! SO many mothers suffer in silence and end up stuck in their homes alone. Because they fear judgment from others for what they are experiencing, they close up and don’t tell anyone what’s running through their minds. Some of them don’t get help or medication or therapy. Some of them commit suicide. That certainly almost happened to me, even with medication and with therapy and support.

My OCD journey is far from over. I’m still getting lots of help, but I still have lots of symptoms. Obsessing over all the mean things that people have said or done to me is one of those symptoms, unfortunately. But I’ve fought my way through so far and I will keep fighting.

My survival is and will be my victory.

a bad nightmare

bad nightmare…

I was home alone (which I often have been these days since the car accident) and the doorbell rang. I opened the door and it was Melissa Hilchey. (I have no clue where she lives but she knows where I live) For some reason she had a really huge fruit basket. I screamed and kicked the basket out of her hands and fruit went rolling around my front steps and onto the walkway. I tried to close and lock the door but she forced her way through, I was too physically weak to stop her. She knocked me down and I was face-down on the front hallway carpet. I struggled to get up. She grabbed a knife from the kitchen and stood on my back in her painful shoes. She was yelling and screaming at me frantically. “I’m so much better than you!” she shouted. She started stabbing me in the back. “Admit that I’m better than you!” she threatened, pausing in the stabbing. “Say it!” She held the knife really close to my back so that I could feel the sharpness. “Say I’m not the only one who had CAS come! Say that I’m not a bad mother for having CAS take my own baby away! Say that you’re so much worse than me!” I didn’t say anything, so she started stabbing me again. “Admit that I’m more powerful than you!!!” She just kept screaming and stabbing. I at least managed to scream out “No!” before I lost consciousness, but there was blood gurgling out my mouth.

Yuck, creepy. I can’t wait until this is all over and I can have 100% of my life back.

I sent both of them an e-mail yesterday asking (for the 2nd time) that they stop contacting me. I attached the emails from the 1st time when I’d asked them to not contact me. So hopefully that’s it, that’s all. Done, done, done. They should just leave me alone and stop interfering with my life. Hopefully they can both find better ways to feel good about themselves other than picking on someone who has OCD which causes obsessive thoughts about every little piece of conflict that happens. Hopefully they won’t simply move on to kicking dogs or tripping blind people or something, but will actually stop feeling the need to hurt others in order to make themselves feel more powerful.

I also sent Sarah an e-mail asking her to help make them stop. I told her she’s a good person and that there must be some loyalty left. If she tells them “Look, quit picking on Kris, haven’t you put her through enough?”, then maybe they will listen.

If it all doesn’t stop here, well I don’t know what I’m going to do next. I talked to Paul about getting restraining orders against them, but he says it’s probably more paperwork/trouble than it’s worth. I don’t know if there’s anything much I can do legally, the police probably don’t give a damn about getting involved in a fight over e-mails and blogs and phone calls. They are trying to hurt me, sure, but they haven’t come around my house or tracked my down. Krissie came over to my (small) neighbourhood and the only grocery store that I go to (it’s the only one close to me), but as Paul joked at least she wasn’t chasing me with her grocery cart or anything. Melissa said she called the police on me, but that could’ve just been a threat, a lie meant to rattle me. When she posted anonymously in my blog I didn’t go calling the police on her so I don’t know what their reaction would be to something you can’t really prove and could be fabricated by the owner of the blog. And all I have as proof is a CAS file and a handful of harassing e-mails, like the original “I called CAS on you” e-mail, and a few e-mails from when Melissa said she wouldn’t contact me but then kept repeatedly e-mailing me to take her off my LJ list.

I called my psychiatrist yesterday to see if I could squeeze into a cancellation spot or something, and there had been a cancellation but there was one person on the waiting list so he said he had to offer it to her first before I could have it. So I might not get in to see him to be able to talk all of this over but at least I do get to see him next week, so maybe that will help me feel more calm and be able to just keep moving on like I had succeeded in doing on Monday after my vent … until Krissie crossed over into my little online “world” to stir things up even more. Ugh, seriously, I rant about people intruding on my territory so what do they do? Intrude on it more and upset me more. Some people really make me wonder.

Ok, I’m going to try to go back to sleep now (it’s 4:25 am and I’ve been up since about maybe 3:30am?)… hopefully the painkillers have kicked in and my heat pad has helped. I did go to physio yesterday but after all the stress I was put through, I still had a lot of pain. Sucks that I’m in a position where people can so easily affect me emotionally and physically just from a few simple mean actions… When I’m recovered from the car accidents and recovered from the PPD and OCD, I’ll be so glad to be able to feel a little less fragile and vulnerable.

more from the “bad friends” file

So I was going to vent about it on my blog and leave it there.

But no. The cruel/mean/vindictive people had other plans.

So in a bizarre twist…

In Oct 2006, I *specifically* asked Krissie (in writing!) not to contact me if it was not supportive.

In April 2008, Melissa asked me (for the 1st time!!!!) not to contact her. She called the police right away. She said she would get their help if I ever contacted her again.

In May 2008, Krissie contacted me by posting on *my* blog with bitchy and sarcastic verbal abuse.

In May 2008, I *repeated* my request (for the 2nd time!!!!) that she never contact me again if it was not supportive.

Did I call the police though?

No, of course not, I’m not a bitch.

ETA: OK, this is so pathetic it’s almost hysterically funny…

In digging around my October 2006 e-mails, I found an e-mail I sent to Melissa in October 2006 asked her not to contact me!!!!!! So her email in April 2008 (telling me she called the police on me and asking me not to contact her) is actually a violation of that previous request!!!!!!

I think that information should definitely be added to whatever police file exists.