the final word
so I get handed the phone, it’s the police
“Thanks for calling me back…” I start.
“No, it’s about Melissa Hilchey.”
because get this – not only did she e-mail me to harass me one last time to get the final word, she called the police on me yet again. so they called me. I hadn’t even yet started my file or told my side of the story, they were calling about her file, filled with her accusations and partial-truths.
my phobia of cops was yet again re-inforced… he was tough, rude, disrespectful, wouldn’t even add my side of the story to the file – “it doesn’t matter”. didn’t even care that I’ve *never* e-mailed her unless she e-mailed me first. Apparently you can still call the police on your victim even if you are the one antagonizing.
She reminds me of a toddler… gives you a whack on the back of your head and then when you spin around to face them, falls down and cries… “She hit meeeeee!” By the time your parent arrives on the scene, you’re both in time out.
silver lining on this ugly gray cloud is that now that she’s made this charge, she’s not allowed to come after me anymore. and she’s not allowed to contact me through anyone else, so she can’t send her bodyguard Krissie after me either.
Maybe now I can finally have some peace and quiet.
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to all the moms out there with PPD and/or OCD:
be strong! don’t let people harass you and discriminate against you! stand up and take action the first time someone does, don’t let it wait.
one thing I regret is not calling the police when this vindictive person first started harassing me. She e-mailed me to tell me about the CAS call and then started e-mailing me and e-mailing me to remove her from my LiveJournal, which I hadn’t gotten around to yet since getting out of the hospital. I’d asked her not to contact me but she kept at it. I wish I’d been the one to open the file so it could’ve been on my terms and with *my* side of the story included.
Another lesson learned and a tip for mothers who are going to be seeking help for their PPD or OCD: I know it may seem strange but it might actually be better for *you* to call your local child services agency yourself before anyone else does!!! Then you can explain “I have post-partum depression. I’m suicidal. I would never ever hurt my child and I’m doing every possible thing I can to help myself and to keep them safe”. One of my PPD-support-group friends had CAS called on her because she confessed her PPD suicidal ideations to a nurse at a well-baby clinic and it was just a nightmare for her just like it’s been for me. I wish I had thought of this idea to call and start a file at the start of my journey of seeking help.
Most importantly, don’t let your fear of harassment and discrimination stop you from getting the help you need!!! Even though there are people out there who will mask their ignorance with hate and fear and who will act out against you, I think it’s still worth it to get out there and tell people what’s happening to you and that you need treatment for it!! SO many mothers suffer in silence and end up stuck in their homes alone. Because they fear judgment from others for what they are experiencing, they close up and don’t tell anyone what’s running through their minds. Some of them don’t get help or medication or therapy. Some of them commit suicide. That certainly almost happened to me, even with medication and with therapy and support.
My OCD journey is far from over. I’m still getting lots of help, but I still have lots of symptoms. Obsessing over all the mean things that people have said or done to me is one of those symptoms, unfortunately. But I’ve fought my way through so far and I will keep fighting.
My survival is and will be my victory.
May 29 2008 08:41 pm | OCD and PPD and anti-psychotic meds and people suck
May 30th, 2008 at 5:24 pm
It upsets me to see you constantly having to defend yourself from attacks by so many different people when really you just need to be left alone. That on top of struggling with mental illness is just such a horrible load to deal with in life.
At least you have a lot of people out there who care about you and support you. I hope that thought helps so you don’t feel too cornered. :/
This turned into an amazingly positive post though, and I am impressed by your attitude and strength. And great advice too! I’m glad you are fighting so that you don’t give these people the power to destroy your life!
*hugs*
June 4th, 2008 at 7:23 am
Thanks chickie and especially for the reminder of all the people out there supporting me, it definitely helps to try to think of them instead of these people who seem like they are out to get me.
I’m hoping my message and my story to other moms with OCD get out there. My biggest issue with this whole situation is that this is what stops moms from asking for help in the first place!! There are women out there who are so afraid of having CAS or the police involved that they are merely keeping silent about how they feel and are not getting the help they need, which is actually worse for the children because they are losing their mother piece by piece, and maybe even losing her forever if she does go through with suicide!!!