February 26th, 2009 -- Posted in OCD, PPD, anti-psychotic meds, baby-munching, pain / disability |
so saw my shrink this morning.
and was happy to report my OCD is doing *much* better.
I only munch on the baby every 2nd or 3rd day and only once a day (instead of multiple times a day and/or every day). This is a big improvement, trust me.
I credit the crapload of Prozac, but also myself. This OCD has been a struggle to overcome, because it’s so self-reinforcing. The more you obsess, the more you give in to your compulsions, which leads you to obsess more.
I think this cycle has finally reversed itself though and is working in the opposite direction: the less I obsess, the less I give in, which causes me to obsess a lot less. If I’m not munching my munchkin, I don’t spend tons of time churning up all sorts of self-loathing surrounding that issue.
I worry that over-analyzing it so much at the beginning was what fed the fire. The anxiety that there was something horribly wrong with me for wanting to “nom nom nom” on my cute little baby may have been what turned a normal nurturing-mother reaction into an out-of-control disorder.
I feel more confident now that I can turn this around. I went from being so afraid of knives and sharp things that I couldn’t chop vegetables to being totally at ease with sharp cutlery again. So maybe there’s hope that one day eventually I can go a week without wanting to chew my son’s adorable cheek off.
As far as how the Prozac relates to the plan though, I could only get on the Cymbalta if I came off the Prozac first. And I agree with my psychiatrist that this is not a good idea. Since the fall, I’ve been starting to enjoy some relief from this agonizing brain-prison of obsessions and compulsions. I can’t risk giving that up, for Avery’s sake or for my own sanity.
I’d rather be in physical pain than face that degree of mental anguish again.
February 25th, 2009 -- Posted in blinkies & other cuteness |
I whipped up a batch of blinkies yesterday with some nice colours and a “squiggle” background as the main ingredients, topped off with my new style of stroke…
The blinkies fit in a variety of categories (pregnant with twins, young/teen mom, angels, love my baby), but the whole batch can also be found grouped together on this page: Squiggle Blinkies
This set brings me just a couple dozen blinkies away from hitting the 2500 mark! Meanwhile, my BlinkieMommies newslist is close to having 100 subscribers. Amazing how little things can just grow and grow, I love it! 
“Cuteness” for the win!! 
EDIT: All blinkies are now hosted on KStarDesign.com!
February 22nd, 2009 -- Posted in EZ-blog Oven, family, friends, future / dreams / goals, hill to haven, pain / disability, parties, pics, things that make you go LOL |
Google says: No results found for “I am excited about siding”. This will change! Muahahahahahahaha!
So guess who stopped by to check on the new house this weekend? Yep, this fab little fam who’s moving from “the Hill” to “the Haven”. 
Oooh, I smell a category rename for this blog!
We were out in the West end to wish Karen T a happy 30th bday (ugh, we’re getting so old!!) so afterwards we also swung by our new neighbourhood to see how the construction was progressing…
And were happy to discover our siding was all up! And we have walls and ceilings (or is it just one ceiling?). We are also due to have bricks soon too! They are in a big pile *next* to our house, so hopefully they will be on the front of our house by the time we next go to have a peek.
I am unavailable for comment on how many hours I spent in bed in pain as a result of said trip to Barrhaven. So I will just say “ooh pretty siding!… enjoy the pics”.
awww, it’s the prettiest siding I’ve ever seen…
our right-hand neighbours have a nice colour too – kind of like cocoa vs. cream. our left-hand neighbours have the same as we do!! but will have a darker brick.
yay drywall! I’m thinking a banister is in order though – right now it looks a little dangerous! good thing the doors are locked up now anyways.
