Transition point
I actually like all those times of the year (and of life) where things change and you have a chance at a new routine. I guess I’m optimistic in the long-term and feel like maybe, just maybe, someday, eventually things will “settle”.
Theory: Perhaps parents shouldn’t make too great of an effort to make everything “easy” and “happy” for your children, as they may forever crave a level of stability that doesn’t really exist.
Another recent thought: Maybe my children will actually end up being really strong people and really determined individuals because of the challenges we’ve faced as a family. Even though my daughter is very self-centered right now, she has started to realize things aren’t so easy all the time. As we are making some changes to our lives out of necessity, she realizes a little piece of what she has taken for granted all her life. Even if we get to go back to the life & lifestyle we used to be able to enjoy (2 able-bodied parents working full-time, with enough time and money left over for lots of “extras” like music lessons and activities), maybe she will be more aware of the fact that a lot of what she enjoys are privileges.
I know that being a teen mom for a couple of years and living with just the “basics” (by Western society’s standards anyways) helped me to appreciate the comforts I was able to have down the road. Buying my first little car when Harmony was 9 months old was an exciting experience. It gave me a good starting place to exercise that classic human drive of wanting to always be improving and moving upwards and onwards.
As we finish moving everything from this house into our new house, it is a transition point in many ways. This our very first home that we will actually own ourselves, and we’ve been involved in every step of the process. We’ve been waiting forever for such perks as an actual garage and having our own walls (not being attached to anyone else… or their music or pets, etc!!).
With so many things still uncertain (will I ever find relief from the pain? will we be able to go back to being a double-income family somehow? will we able to cope with the difficulties that have come from being a blended family?), I don’t think I’m going to be able to find my “stable place” quite yet.
But I’m hoping that maybe someday I’ll have a year or two where I can just be in a routine with the family and kids without having too many negative and/or stressful life events coming crashing in at me from all directions!!!
June 22 2009 07:55 pm | family and future / dreams / goals and hill to haven and pain / disability and work/career
June 22nd, 2009 at 8:09 pm
You both have worked really hard to get where you are. I truly believe that everything will work out. You can beat this pain Kris. It might take a long time, but you will be better! Just believe it!
June 23rd, 2009 at 7:03 am
Thanks Jenn, I really hope you’re right!!