Re-building a family…
July 11th, 2009 -- Posted in domestic engineering, family, hill to haven, life as a mom, pain / disability, painkillers, pics, work/career | 1 Comment »It doesn’t take much to make me feel as though I’ve lost my footing somehow. Any big change – new job, new school, new relationship, new pregnancy, new house – will have me re-evaluating all aspects of my life and my reality around me.
I imagine many people feel the same sense of disorientation after a move or other change, and I hope my children are coping OK with this really big one we are all going through. With all that we’ve struggled with over the years, I’ve actually been hoping that this move will be a new beginning for us… a chance to put old issues behind us and commit to re-building the family.
My daughter has actually been away a lot the past couple weeks, and although I want to give her some space and not be pushy or intrusive, I also want her to face the reality of moving – yes, you will miss your friends, and you have to unpack all these boxes, but it will be OK.
Paul, Avery, and I at a Canada Day BBQ a few days after the big move – we so needed the break from all the work to just chill with friends!
At the same time, I’m also adjusting to the end of the school year and the new role of being a full-time Stay-at-home-mom, something I’ve dabbled in off-and-on over the past 11 years (the “full-time” part of it I mean) but haven’t considered my long-term professional status!
With so much on the go here at the new house though, I actually don’t feel many of the negative emotions that can sometimes accompany this underpaid and undervalued job. The kids are busy and have many needs right now – they need reassurance and lots of TLC. And being a “homemaker” (a term I’ve often taken offence to when being labeled with it) has never been as big a job as it has for me right now.
Avery makes us some “tickets” with my Cuttlebug in our very disorganized dinning/living room area
Unfortunately, with the homeowner + SAHM + homemaker roles and all associated tasks taking up so much of my time and energy, my ability to look after myself has faltered. Despite all the positives, I’m regularly very miserable because of my physical condition. I am still waiting for just one day without pain. There’s so much I want do – for me, for the family, with my life!! – and it’s all on hold or going so slow.
Speaking of pain, that’s about all the sitting I can do for right now – my back is killing me. Time to top up the meds again and try to get a good night’s sleep (hopefully my wonderful soak in my big warm tub earlier this evening will help!!). 
