krismom’s blog

Harmony,

You are 10 years old and you are turning into a teenager before my eyes. Can I just say how freakin’ terrifying that is? We’ve already started with the stomping and door-slamming and I feel like I just haven’t kept up. And can’t keep up. Today you surprised me by filling me in on past crushes and boyfriends you had that I never knew about! When did you get so old? While I was expressing my surprise at how little I was clued in to all the happenings of a busy Grade 5 social life, your dad reminded me this would not be the first time we’d be left out of the loop! And I know this. And I know there’s not much that I can do to change this. So I’ll be ready for when you do want to share with me, I’ll try to be there to listen and understand as best as I possibly can. I know I can’t be your “friend” or your confidant, I know there are others who are better suited to that role. But I hope at least I can make you believe deep down that I’m always there behind you, wishing the best for you, hoping you stay safe and are happy.

What’s new? lots is new. There is always something new with me, it seems.

* I miss my kids. Weird. but am also enjoying a bit of a break.

* I had the calmest NYE ever. By this I mean I did not make out with one or more of my best friends. Weird.

* I’m reading Twilight. Technically, I’m previewing it for Harmony, who wants to read it like her friends and cousin, but I found myself enjoying it. Weird.

* After a week of being “off” my top-up painkillers, I let myself indulge a little last night (omg my peach punch turned out freakin’ amazing). And it went OK. A bit of a distraction from the pain, a bit of muscle relaxant effect, no hangover. Maybe I should switch from over the counter painkillers to being an alcoholic.

* YM is new! My other “baby” turns 10 this year and since I can’t remember what day officially YM was born (and got it’s own space instead of being a part of my pregnancy website for Harmony), I’ll just celebrate all year. I’m uploading the new YoungMommies.com layout I’ve been working on and am eager to  get lots done on the site this year.

* My healthy eating plan (it’s not a “diet”) is back on. I have kept off the 5lbs I lost right after recommiting to weight loss in October and so I’m at the -15lbs mark from my starting weight (from 2005!). In 2006, I had made it alllllll the way down to the -67lbs mark, so I’m hoping I can do it again.

What’s not new?

* I’m still in stupid amounts of pain. And it sucks hard and I hate it. And just don’t understand. It’s all day, every day, in varying degrees and it’s coming up on 9 months of chronic pain and 3 months of the really severe lumbar spine pain (which was worse than the original post-accident pain). I’m sooooo beyond sick of this and really hoping for a change.

Happy 2009!! Here’s hoping the new year brings us all a lot of health & happiness!

the internet is just sooooo overwhelming sometimes. I mean, the world is too and the web is just maybe a representation of that in a more lucid form, but still. Just, wow, it’s too big.

Why does it bother me so much that I could never learn all there is to learn in the world (and on the world wide web)? There are so many subjects to be knowledgeable in and not enough time to master them all. A few of us can be good at a few things, maybe even experts, but that’s the best we can hope for. Our brains just can’t absorb everything that’s out there, it’s just too too much. Every book that’s ever written? with more and more being written every day in feeds and blogs and message boards and posts and threads and PMs and messages and e-mails? It’s impossible.

For some reason my online life has me on edge tonight.

I am torn. There are so many places I want to go, people to connect with, but not enough of me to give.

maybe one of my goals for 2009 will be to get organized with all my online “places” and decide where to go and what not to try to keep up with because it’s just way too busy.

k, I’m stepping slowly away from my computer…. and towards my cosy bed where a copy of Twillight is waiting, with just a few chapters read so far. It’s cute, it’s really cute.

OK my Wordpress is now upgraded to 2.7! The dashboard is very very cool! And I did it all by myself and didn’t even need to call in the hubby for help. And in the process of doing this, I had to back up my blog so now I know how to do that.

And I was able to find Nina’s comment that I accidentally deleted because it was in a huge pile of spam.

And I deleted even more piles of spam. It’s like, “no, just because I’m talking about Prozac doesn’t mean I would like you to spam people with places to buy Prozac online!”

maybe I’ll have to start discussing my medications in code.

OR maybe the new version of Wordpress has better spam-blocking abilities!

oh and in searching through the comments, I have more readers than I thought. So hi! & thanks for reading!

that feeling at the end of the year (or start of the year) has always been appealing to me.

it’s a fresh start, a new page. Maybe it’s just my generation where it would be time for “game over” and to start again, using the new information you have to do much better at the game, but I have this tendency to want to start over again instead of just working from where I am. and you can’t do that in life, but at least you can put away things by year or by milestone and say “Well, I didn’t do super at xyz in 2008. I can try again fresh for 2009.”

In the next few days, I’ll be celebrating my son’s 4th birthday, scrapbooking my Christmas layouts, uploading the new version of YoungMommies.com to celebrate its 10th birthday!, and preparing for our usual NYE bash on the 31st.

Oh, and I have I mentioned I’m also trying to come off my “extra” painkillers?? I take Zytram round-the-clock as a baseline painkiller but then top it up with codeine- and morphine-based meds as well when the pain is more severe. Which is not that great and I’d rather not rely on.

I’m torn because I have so many things I want to run around and do and the “jack up on painkillers and keep on going” method sometimes works (that’s basically what I did the 6 weeks I was working!). But I realize this is not that healthy and has done me more harm than good. And that continuing that vicious cycle will just get me in worse and worse shape and not allow me to recover.

So a lot to accomplish by the end of the year, but I’m really looking forward to 2009, I think it will bring me a lot more health & happiness than 2008 did.

Happy New Year!

P.S. I’m upgrading my blog to the latest version of Wordpress so if it becomes briefly unavailable, you know why. I just thought my blog readership of like, 6 people should know that.

I hope everyone is enjoying the holidays.

Amusing things that need to be blogged before they risk being forgotten:

* When we were getting Avery to feel Cynthia’s belly because the baby was moving, he also put a hand on her boob.
* When Harmony was waiting for a turn on the Xbox while I was playing, she was like “Can’t you just die?”
* When asked where his sister is (during Paul’s office party), Avery says “I lost her.”
* This morning, Avery started opening Daddy’s stocking instead of his own.
* Avery has been calling us all “babe” lately.

It’s been a busy time, but all went relatively smoothly. We saw Paul’s sister & her partner on the 24th and then ended up having a really quiet evening at home after his mom cancelled because of the freezing rain. Paul’s grandfather stopped by as we were preparing an early dinner so we invited him in for the meal. Today we went to my parents, who were hosting the family gathering for my Dad’s side of the family (7 siblings = lots of cousins in the next generation!).

Lots of pics here.

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Christmas is coming…

and I admit it’s been a lot harder this year to make all the same magic happen. a LOT. and I’ve needed more help. and it won’t quite be the same.

but I look around and still get that warm & fuzzy feeling from the lights on the tree and the lopsided gingerbread house and the holiday music and movies.

and I’m glad I haven’t messed it up too much for my family, being all trashed up and losing a full salary that would’ve made shopping much easier. I feel so guilty that there is less under the tree for everyone. I still want everyone to have a great Christmas, especially the kids.

a few photos from the month so far, the magic is still being captured as much as we can…

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Showing a little link love for OttawaMommies.com, a message board that may not be around for long unless activity picks up a little. So if you’re a mommy in Ottawa, drop by and say “hi”! I may be sending in my application for Site Admin to help out, looks like it could be a fun place to hang out.

Freebie time… I don’t do this often enough on my blog, sorry. But here you go - some Christmas gift tags. Print ‘em out and use a trimmer to separate them. Very handy and no braving the malls required to get them.

Free printable Christmas gift tags from Krismom

Oh, and I’ve also added a few more Breastmilk Medals (like for beyond 2 years, for exclusively breastfeeding and for breastfeeding until solids). You can get them here.

Have a good weekend!!!

Yesterday:
- Got the last of the invites out for our holiday parties.
- Planned the menu for our Christmas due on Sat, including finding a cool punch recipe. Yummy.
- Wrapped the “teacher gifts” with the kids as well as the gifts for Avery’s childcare provider.
- Cropped Avery’s school portraits and framed some of them. He’s so darn cute.
- Lamented over the lack of Christmas tissue paper in our wrapping stash and then tossed a handful of paper at the hubby who said “Oh no” very sarcastically. Just for that, I’m going to wrap all his presents in bags with NO tissue.

Today:
- Finished the last of the Christmas cards, even if it meant signing them in silver pen instead of white pen (oh, the horror!!). So if I can mail those out soon, I will just have the ones under the tree to give out by hand. I haven’t done the final count yet, but all cards this year are hand-made.
- After killing myself scrambling to get to the door to get a parcel that didn’t even need a signature, I’ve got a sign up in the front door window - “SPINAL INJURIES - PLEASE ONLY RING IF SIGNATURE NEEDED”. Because if this delivery person is any indication (ring ring ring, wait 5 seconds, ring ring ring ring ring), the other half dozen deliveries I’m expecting would not be fun. Hopefully they’ll get the hint… I’m not doing so well with the walking, people, that’s why the hell I’m shopping online!!!

Friday:
- Finish wrapping all the gifts for Sat.
- Movie night, yay. A nice break from it all. Paul borrowed Night at the Museum from a co-worker so here’s hoping that’s good.

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* Stuck in bed all day yesterday but got my online Christmas shopping done - was able to get free shipping for Sears, ToysRUs, & Amazon, but will have to pick up a toy at Zellers somehow.

* My white pen ran out of ink last week. This is a problem with my nice dark cardstock Christmas cards, of which I have about 10 left to send. I’d rather wait for the new white one I ordered than use up all my silver, which is also not as good a match.

* I love my new kitchen-to-be. OMG. We did something really custom/funky/original with the tiles and it will be absolutely fabulous. Picked everything out Sunday - here are pics, but I’m keeping the special added touch a surprise!

* I love my hubby. Even more than my new kitchen-to-be. Yes, really. I have a big crush on him. He doesn’t have shiny countertops or stainless steel cupboard handles, but he can cook and clean while fending off toddler and pre-teen tantrums, and still have time for new home dreams and kisses.

* Finally heard from the Senator’s office, and in order to pay me they had to send me papers that I had to sign and send back. On said papers, I’ve been officially downgraded from FT permanent employee to “contractor”. And they short-changed me 8 cents an hour for some bizarre reason. I don’t care as long as I get my $ asap.

* Jo-Ann is in town. I don’t even know where to start. I think I need one more psych degree to even begin to understand her behaviour. And to figure out what on earth she does with Avery that makes him act like a complete lunatic-with-destructive-tendencies when he comes back to us!

* Games are stupid. (to me. at this moment in time.) I finally beat W Jongg, but Hexic is driving me nuts. I don’t even enjoy it that much, I just want to win the damn thing.

* we got a Christmas card addressed to “Mr. & Mrs. Paul LastName”. Which is *my* last name, that he took on when we got married. Because we’re not a freakin’ traditional couple so why would you send us a card that’s addressed like it came from the 1950s???

OK, that’s about all I can manage today, my attention span and concentration are ridiculously off-kilter.