Creating Kris ~ a young mom blogs…

Protected: seeking solace, craving comfort

busy weekend with a high price tag

So we had a great weekend!

Fun Fair was Sat with the kids, and they had a good time. Avery went back twice for the “fishing” game and was so excited about his prizes. We saw one of his daycare friends and he ran over to show them, saying “They’re gonna be so proud of me!” LOL. Pics coming soon.

The kids went to their grandparents’ places afterwards, and we went to IKEA. Guess how much we spent?? A mere $6.20!! miraculous, isn’t it? Usually we see so many things we like that we can easily spend a hundred. That evening, Paul introduced me to this Vietnamese restaurant he had been to with his co-workers (and we invited Kat and Kurt along, great to see you guys!). We had thought about catching a movie afterwards but instead we just cuddled up on the couch to watch another couple episodes of Firefly, which Paul has the DVD set of. I enjoyed a glass of Chardonnay. Then we had way too much fun on Sunday morning/afternoon.

Sunday afternoon we went to Costco (I just love their ice cream!) and we ordered a “Mother’s Day” dinner for my mother over at her place when picking up the kids. Mille Feuille for dessert (another thing I love from Costco!). She liked her gifts, including a little decorated flower pot, and the kids liked helping her open them, especially Avery. Of course we got to see hands-on proof of how much she over-indulges them (offering Avery some mac ‘n cheese when he started to pout about his pizza!!), but we handled it all OK.

Sunday evening, the pain started to set in from this very busy weekend, and I had a really hard time getting to sleep. Plus I had oh about a million and a half ideas swirling around in my head! I got out of bed around midnight because I’d been growing this little seed of an idea for *the* perfect website to start. After researching no less than 53 website names, I found the perfect one! Can’t tell yet because I haven’t bought it yet (I’m planning on treating myself to 5 new .coms soon), but stay tuned.

After a tossy-and-turny night, I have been in ever more pain. Of all the weekend’s activities, I lay the blame pretty squarely on the shoulders of the way-too-much-fun-with-my-hubby. As I told my physiotherapist today, “What’s good for my marriage isn’t necessarily good for my back!”. It is sooo screwed up now it’s not even funny. The pain radiates down into my lower back (especially the left side), right down my left hip and into my left leg. Ouch, ouch, ouch. But my sex life is not something I’m willing to give up, you know!? Even if it means an entire Monday morning confined to lying down in bed or on the couch!

I’m thinking of writing an article… I know that “Is there sex after kids?” has been done already, but how about “Is there sex after multiple car accidents?”… ’cause seriously, women need to know!!

was the weekend worth it? For now I’ll still say a hesitant “yes”… but I’m hoping I’m not in this much pain all week!!! I’ve got laundry to do, a Track-and-Field meet to attend and cheer at, soccer games and practices and music lessons to drive Harmony to, a graphics design project to finish up, two scrapbooking nights with friends, not to mention some new baby websites to “give birth to”!!!!

a bad nightmare

bad nightmare…

I was home alone (which I often have been these days since the car accident) and the doorbell rang. I opened the door and it was Melissa Hilchey. (I have no clue where she lives but she knows where I live) For some reason she had a really huge fruit basket. I screamed and kicked the basket out of her hands and fruit went rolling around my front steps and onto the walkway. I tried to close and lock the door but she forced her way through, I was too physically weak to stop her. She knocked me down and I was face-down on the front hallway carpet. I struggled to get up. She grabbed a knife from the kitchen and stood on my back in her painful shoes. She was yelling and screaming at me frantically. “I’m so much better than you!” she shouted. She started stabbing me in the back. “Admit that I’m better than you!” she threatened, pausing in the stabbing. “Say it!” She held the knife really close to my back so that I could feel the sharpness. “Say I’m not the only one who had CAS come! Say that I’m not a bad mother for having CAS take my own baby away! Say that you’re so much worse than me!” I didn’t say anything, so she started stabbing me again. “Admit that I’m more powerful than you!!!” She just kept screaming and stabbing. I at least managed to scream out “No!” before I lost consciousness, but there was blood gurgling out my mouth.

Yuck, creepy. I can’t wait until this is all over and I can have 100% of my life back.

I sent both of them an e-mail yesterday asking (for the 2nd time) that they stop contacting me. I attached the emails from the 1st time when I’d asked them to not contact me. So hopefully that’s it, that’s all. Done, done, done. They should just leave me alone and stop interfering with my life. Hopefully they can both find better ways to feel good about themselves other than picking on someone who has OCD which causes obsessive thoughts about every little piece of conflict that happens. Hopefully they won’t simply move on to kicking dogs or tripping blind people or something, but will actually stop feeling the need to hurt others in order to make themselves feel more powerful.

I also sent Sarah an e-mail asking her to help make them stop. I told her she’s a good person and that there must be some loyalty left. If she tells them “Look, quit picking on Kris, haven’t you put her through enough?”, then maybe they will listen.

If it all doesn’t stop here, well I don’t know what I’m going to do next. I talked to Paul about getting restraining orders against them, but he says it’s probably more paperwork/trouble than it’s worth. I don’t know if there’s anything much I can do legally, the police probably don’t give a damn about getting involved in a fight over e-mails and blogs and phone calls. They are trying to hurt me, sure, but they haven’t come around my house or tracked my down. Krissie came over to my (small) neighbourhood and the only grocery store that I go to (it’s the only one close to me), but as Paul joked at least she wasn’t chasing me with her grocery cart or anything. Melissa said she called the police on me, but that could’ve just been a threat, a lie meant to rattle me. When she posted anonymously in my blog I didn’t go calling the police on her so I don’t know what their reaction would be to something you can’t really prove and could be fabricated by the owner of the blog. And all I have as proof is a CAS file and a handful of harassing e-mails, like the original “I called CAS on you” e-mail, and a few e-mails from when Melissa said she wouldn’t contact me but then kept repeatedly e-mailing me to take her off my LJ list.

I called my psychiatrist yesterday to see if I could squeeze into a cancellation spot or something, and there had been a cancellation but there was one person on the waiting list so he said he had to offer it to her first before I could have it. So I might not get in to see him to be able to talk all of this over but at least I do get to see him next week, so maybe that will help me feel more calm and be able to just keep moving on like I had succeeded in doing on Monday after my vent … until Krissie crossed over into my little online “world” to stir things up even more. Ugh, seriously, I rant about people intruding on my territory so what do they do? Intrude on it more and upset me more. Some people really make me wonder.

Ok, I’m going to try to go back to sleep now (it’s 4:25 am and I’ve been up since about maybe 3:30am?)… hopefully the painkillers have kicked in and my heat pad has helped. I did go to physio yesterday but after all the stress I was put through, I still had a lot of pain. Sucks that I’m in a position where people can so easily affect me emotionally and physically just from a few simple mean actions… When I’m recovered from the car accidents and recovered from the PPD and OCD, I’ll be so glad to be able to feel a little less fragile and vulnerable.